Brokeness

A. W. Tozer has been quoted to say, “When God wants to use a man greatly, He must first hurt him deeply”.  Brokenness seems to be part of the Journey to Freedom as well.  In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God promises us that His grace is always sufficient.  However, to know that grace and it’s life changing power I must first come to the end of me.  Jesus told us in John 15 that “apart from me you can do nothing”.  These past few months have been a wake up call to how empty I am with out Jesus. 

In these recent days of transitioning from Pastoring to International Church Planting we have found ourselves in the position of dependence on family and friends.   So many have been testimonies to us of the grace of God.  I guess we best know grace when we feel our weakness.  In verse 10 of 2 Corinthians 12 Paul tells me that when I am weak, then I am strong.  It is as if he is telling us to celebrate our weakness.  He advises us to boast about just how weak we really are.   We have been from South Florida to San Diego to St. Louis to Lake of the Ozarks and back.  We have slept in six different homes in four locations and our dog Tobie has found himself a bit confused at times.      

However, it is in times like these that you come back to those things that are most important in your life; the Lord and your family. Our times with our children have been amazing.  Joan and I were able to spend Easter with all the kids and spouses and yes, did I mention the most important member of the family, Allie, our 18-month-old granddaughter!  It has been many years since we had such an awesome blessing at a holiday time.  What a precious time of openness and sharing.  Joan has been able to help Heather get ready for our soon and coming grandson; Chaim Joshua.   Heather is so ready to have what promises to be a “big” baby boy.   Celebrating the things that really count and stopping long enough to enjoy the moments has kept us saying, “ thank you God for all you have given to us”. 

Jacob, one of our patriarchs of the faith teaches about the need for brokenness.  He wanted the blessing of God.  To gain the blessing he first experienced the breaking.  After wrestling with God all-night and unwilling to let go, Jacob pleads for the blessing of God.  God touches his hip and changes him forever.  He would be the one through whom God would call a nation and a Messiah.  His children and their faith were to be a testimony to the world of the nature and character of God.  When God broke Jacob we believe not only his name changed but also his character.  He was no longer a deceiver but a warrior.  His name was changed to identify a chosen people.  Thousands of years later his descendants still bear his name; Israel.  “When God wants to use a man greatly He must first hurt him deeply”.  To be honest we have known some deep pain these past months!  We know however, as Paul proclaims, “these momentary light afflictions are producing for us an eternal weight of glory.  He also encouraged us with the promise that “God works all things for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes”.  A dislocated hip commemorated the breaking of Jacob.  He probably never walked the same as a result.  Brokenness really does change you.  It can leave you complaining and wanting or thankful and useful.  As for me and my house we choose  thankful and useful.  May God get the glory through these open and empty vessels.

Mark and Joan.